“You can’t live a positive life around negative people.”
So begins Marc Chernoff’s post, 7 Negative People You Need to Ignore, at marcandangel.com. Marc and Angel regularly post great stuff that makes you think and can help you live a happier life. So, who are the 7 people Marc wants you to avoid? Here is the list:
- The hopelessly hostile drama queen. Our tendency is to confront those who are hostile toward us. Don’t react, respond if you must deal with them. Keep your cool and look for resolution, seek to be kind.
- The person you have failed to please a hundred times before. All of us have some people in our life whom we cannot please. Perhaps they don’t want to be pleased by anything you do… who knows? Don’t hate them, just ignore them.
- The naysayer who always dumps on your dreams. Why are we so eager to listen to others when they put us down? If you listen and accept what others say, you will become what they say. And that’s not what you want, so ignore them!
- The manipulator. These people are trying to force you into their plans. It isn’t wrong to take part in other people’s plans, but do so because it fits into your plans. Otherwise, stay away from them!
- The stubborn one who insist you should be someone else. Some people want to force you to change, others won’t let you change. Either way, you are living to someone else’s expectations, not your own. Grow because it is what you want to do. If you are changing to please someone else, you may become bitter with time if they change their mind about who you ought to be.
- The unforgiving friend who refuses to forgive you for your mistakes. Mistakes are part of life. Friends help one another grow past mistakes and become better for it. If people hold too tightly the past and not forgive you your mistakes, they are making a grave one themselves.
- The inner critic. Yes, this is you. Sometimes you need to ignore yourself. We humans love to compare the best in others to the worst in ourselves. We also tend to take on the six roles above when dealing with ourselves. When you do, shut that person up and move on with your plans.
If you are to grow and become the person who will achieve the great big goals and visions you have for your life, you have to decide who you are now and who you are going to become. Avoiding people who do not want you to grow is crucial to your transformation.
Oh, and if you really want to make sure you avoid these people, find others who will support you and give you room to grow. The best way to avoid bad friends, like bad habits, is to replace them with good ones.
7 Negative People You Need to Ignore by Marc Chernoff at markandangel.com
Leaderclip 
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Incredible post Sir.. Reblogging this, hope you dont mind. Thanks once again. 🙂
Aviral,
I am glad you enjoyed the article and honored that you wanted to share it with your readers! Thank you.
always with gratitude,
db
I particularly like the concept of ignoring/avoiding the person you have failed to please a hundred times before. This is a difficult one sometimes because it is as if it is a challenge that I am trying to overcome, and I won’t stop until I obtain that goal. I suppose that, sometimes, enough is enough. It is time to let it go, because that person will never be happy.
Thank you for your post, and thank you for recommending marcandangel.com. I will be checking that out.
Alyssa,
Thanks for your thought. I agree with you that many of us see changing someone’s mind as a goal and a victory if we can do it. But the real question you have to ask yourself is do you want to invest time and energy into changing their mind, or in achieving your goals and dreams?
The funny thing is that the only chance you have of changing their mind is by your actions, not your words. The Apostle Paul was seen very suspiciously by the early Christian community. (He was also seen as a disappointment by many Pharisees after his conversion.) It was only by his deeds that he changed minds, not by talk of how he’d changed. I am sure there were those who did not believe his change sincere, even to the end. I think history judges the conversion authentic because of the profound impact he has had in the nearly 2000 years since his death.
Love those whom you cannot please, but don’t let them keep you from your dreams.
always with gratitude,
db
Great article. I wouldn’t say I take on all six when criticizing myself just 4 and 5… and sometimes 2, but it’s all to get me moving in the right direction. I’m not a big fan of pointless criticism, but I will take a closer look at my habit just in case. Thank you for the advice.
I enjoy reading your work. It is exciting to see a young person eager to grow themselves AND bring others on the journey with them. Thanks for stopping by.
always with gratitude,
db
This is a great list! It is so important to surround ourselves with positive people and to stop the inner critic that was probably born from someone else’s negative garbage in the first place. I look forward to reading more of your blog.
Kristin,
Thanks for your vote of confidence, choosing to follow Leaderclip. I took a quick look at you blog, The Snowball Effect, and saw the inner critic and some of these other critics at play in your great post on Sam’s Story: http://thesnowballeffect.com/sams-story-a-lesson-in-comparisons/
I look forward to reading more of your blog, too.